With Out You
by akoto123
Summary: Her life was just darkness buried by the ashes or the glass that shattered in the moonlight and he was her light that refilled her emptiness with happiness but once a heart breaks , can it ever be healed?


What is love really? I remember asking myself that an August afternoon when the leaves where turning a beautiful orange color as they plunged on to the ground , only to be swallowed up by the darkness of reality. I remember asking myself that like it was yesterday, not like it was two years ago, or five days ago, but like it was yesterday . Every August was the day I would mourn for him to come back, wrapped in the velvet coat he said that looked gourgous on me on that one foggy afternoon . I would watch all the sitcoms that I knew he'd enjoy, and throw popcorn at the screen when the charachter would make a mistake..just as he once did. On August 28th, I would only wear black, because " black was the color that had no meaning "he had said to me, as the moist air wrapped around us that Friday afternoon. " When you wear black, no one can read you..it's almost like your invisible. Some people get depressed when they're not noticed but honestly that's the best feeling in the world. When your not noticed you have less complications..less people to hurt .. less drama.. Right now i'm ticking..I'm going to blow at any second and destroy whoever stands in the way of me getting to the end of my path . Black is beauty because it's not simple nor plain. Black is a mask that I will never carry with shame". His blue eyes had glistened in the moonlight as he spoke . He watched me carefully as if I was the only human being that he had ever told his secret . At that time , I could only nod in confusion , but then he smiled and it was one year later , when I realized why he had smiled at me . He had smiled at me because he knew I'd soon understand and i did. August 28, 2013 , I had watched Oliver die in my arms, but somehow knew that it wasn't Oliver that died , but it was the Arrow, because nothing could kill Oliver Queen while he was blossiming. It is just impossible, but as time passed by i began to dought that theory. I soon realized that Oliver queen had not yet destroyed everything in his path, because he was still left, buried deep in the the darkness that lurked below.

My eyes were glued to the computer screen as I continued to fix the small laptop that Oliver Queen had asked me to fix for him. The small cofee that sat at the corner of my desk began to shake violently , due to Oliver Queen's impatient foot that he continued to tapp , ignoring the small cofeee that once sat there peacefully. I looked up at the handsome man that sat across me and handed him the small worn down laptop . His brilliant blue eyes peirced under my skin as I squirmed under his touch. He flashed me a pearl white smile before continuing to tap his foot repeatively . His gaze tore off of mine and went to the violently shaking cofee cup that was now plasterd on to the marble floor. I tore my eyes off off him and put it to what had used to be my morning flashed me another brilliant smile and sat up quckly, with the smile still plastered on his face. He chuckled due to my fairly open mouth , before opening his hand out to me.

" Surely a guy had made an excuse to ask you out for coffee. There's my excuese". His blue eyes continued to bore into my light blue eyes, before speaking again.

" Aren't you coming"? He asked , tilting his head lightly in confusion.

I nodded quickly before picking up my dark pink bag and taking his hand. He walked quickly but carefully so he would not lead us into the puddle of cofee that was scattered all over my office floor.

K

The cofee shop's walls were painted a light brown and ontop of it laid a beautiful picture of a giant coffee with wipped cream on the top. Oliver led me to the booth farthest away from the door and pushed a chair out for me. I sent him a quick " Thank you" before sitting light pink chair. Oliver slowly sat in his chair before picking up the menu and scanning through it . He noticed my questioning gaze and tore his eyes off the menu and layed them on me. He tilted his head in a quesstioning manner. I shook my head and started to talk.

" Why is the famous, billionare, back from the dead, Oliver Queen asking the not so famous nerd who had only one boyfriend in her whole life entire life out? I asked out of pure curiosity.

Oliver set down his menu on the solid brown cofee table and chuckled.

" Only one boyfriend Felicity Smoke? I dont believe it". He kept his eyes locked on mine.

" Your avoiding the question ". I stated bluntly , causing amusement to dance in his dark blue eyes.

" Am I now? Or ar you avoiding the truth Mrs. Smoke"? I looked down at my pink chipped finger nails and then looked back at him to find him staring back at his menu once again.

He called the waiter over with one wave of a finger . I kept my eyes on the table as he ordered for me.

K

But that was just a distant memory. A memory that has been broken by his nonexistance, slapped by reality , and the memory had then shattered like a glass, leaving the loved one inside of it to scurry like a mouse. I think it's safe to say starling city still needed him, eventhough they denied it countless of times, team Arrow needed him, and so did I. But no amount of crying was going to bring Oliver back because the road he took was a risky one, and what made Oliver Queen a hero was that when no one wanted to take that road, he took it anyway.. even after he came back from the dead not too long ago.

S

Oliver's large hand found it's way on my waist as we danced under the moon light. The fresh green grass was trimmed perfectly as we swayed to the silent music of the grass hoppers croacking it's lullaby . The night sky was pitch black but the stars twinkled with all the light it could give out. Our star twinkled the brightest . We had named that star " Olicity" because Oliver had claimed that the star shone brighter every second he was with me . We came up with that name because , Diggle had decided to call us that one morning. Oliver had cocked his head in confusion while Diggle shook his head and answered bluntly " It's your couple name". Ever since then, Oliver went to find any excuse to call any object " Olicity". I thought it was adorable , but Moira Queen had enough of it. That day she had asked Tommy to convince Oliver that I wasn't worth it and he had shooken his head at Tommy and walked away. The next day Moira Queen had threatend me herself which had resulted in Oliver to blow a gasket. He had refused to live with Moira and durring any events she had held or attended , he would spend the day with me and that resulted in Moira Queen's hatred for Felicity Smoak ( aka me). And that is exactly why Oliver was here dancing with me under the stars. His mother was attending one of her aqquantinces elegant events so Oliver decided to spend the day to go dancing with me. The fresh green grass was trimmed beautifully as he continued to dance with me under the moonlight. He had told me that night that " Our love is still like that star that is shinning the brightest every night, but like every star the brightness will soon run out".

I had no idea what he had meant by that until a few months later , August 28th , also the day when my true love Oliver Queen had died fighting for this city and our star had faded out of existense , but as the days go by , I can see the star shinning lightly in the sky and because of that star I never give up the theory that one day Oliver Jonas Queen would come back from the dead because he had done it before as he sure as heck was going to now.

Y

I walked down the alley with the Arrow suit clutched onto my body. My voice began to become cold and dark as I spotted dark object in the distance.l

"Diggle, I think I spotted the target.. time to see who this Arrow look alike is". I mumbled , causing Diggle to sigh.

" Felecity , Why are we even looking for the guy? I mean the person hasn't done any harm to this city and he wasn't left on any of Oliver's books. What if it's just a little kid that idolizes The Arrow"?

" And what if it's not Diggle? And it's some mass murderer that's trying to make Oliver look bad. Oliver has worked too hard to make his name stand out in this city and I am not going to let some Arrow look alike ruin his legacy".

I could hear Diggle sigh again as I pointed the Arrow toward the intruder.

" Put your hands up and no one gets hurt". I said in a man like tone, thanks to the suit's voice adjuster.

The person just shook his head and began to run up the side of the builing. I rolled my eyes and took out the graveling Arrow to chase after the menace. I found him on the side if the building's roof looking at the city below him.

" Felicity". The man said, almost above a whisper. His arms were draped over his bow and arrow and his eyes were twinkling a brilliant blue.

The city lights were reflecting brilliantly in his eyes and all I could see was the pitch darkness of the roof. I stepped closer to him, checking my surroundings in the process. If the guy had already known my name even with the voice modulator , He must have done his research .

" Felecity , It's me.. Oliver" The man said. His voice was raspy and dark as if he hasn't gotten any sleep for days.

I dropped my Arrow as those sea blue eyes lashed into my soul , leaving me in the darkness of humanity. The treachories of reality struck at ever corner and it was getting harder to breath. My hands found its way to my chest as I gasped for air. The soft piter patter of yesterday's rain in the gauge flowing onto the street's ground became an ear splitting shriek. The lastthing I could see was his dazzling blue eyes as I fell under his spell.

, 2 0 1 5

Its been a year until I had last seen those big blue eyes. I had awoken in a hospital with a needle in my arm and a tube stuck to my mouth. Diggle had a worried look plastered on his face, but when he saw that I was awake, a smile etched on his face. I gave him the biggest smile I could muster at the time and then relization struck my face. I sent Diggle a worried expression and he smiled at me and shook his head.

" Your secret's safe Feliity". He whispered.

Even when Diggle was only two inches away from me at the time, all I could hear was Oliver's echoing voice " Felicity, It's me.. Oliver" , The voice had chanted . I had turned away from Diggle to stare at the cream colored walls that brghtned up the hallways and there he was. Starring at me with those geourus blue eyes. His shirt looked as if it had been pressed with an iron more than once and his crisp black tie hung loosely around his neck. My eyes were focused on him, I squinted instantly as if squinting was going to tell me if this was my Oliver Queen.

But like I said before , that was a year ago . Tomorrow was just another day drifting in darkness, carried by the violent storm of life and I was in the eye of the storm . but this time I was this rime the storm was engulfing me into the madness.. engulfing me in to its flame.

, 2 0 1 3

Laughter filled the air as the fresh aurora of freshly lighted candels entered our nostrils. I could only glance at his sparkling sea blue eyes as he made his way to his mother. His smile alost seemed genuine as he approched the dyed blonde quickly.

" Mother, May I have a word?" Oliver asked , tightly gripping my hand , before releasing it into the open air.

His mother looked up at Oliver in a questioning manner, slowly letting her mouth open and then nodding. She flashed an an apolegetic smile to her guests before making her way into the corner of the room. Oliver turned to look at me, the glint in his eyes shining brighter than a flashlight. He leaned close to my ear and whispered an " I'll be back" before joining his mother in the corner of the room.

I watched them silently , observing their facial expressions while they talked. I could see that Oliver was angry and confused , due to his furrowed eyebrows and made experession and Moira looked almost scared but she covered it up with a disguisted look that just melted my insides. Everyone knew that Moira perserved that look for only me, Felicity Megan Smoak and no one else . That specific look was lower than the look that she gave the filthy rug rats that roamed Starling City's alleys. I could tell that they were talking about me and that made my stomach churn. I kept my gaze on the ground as their voices began to increase. I looked up in shock to see Oliver's angry face. His mother looked like a shark waiting for her next meal as she continued to scold him for being with whatever I was. She claimed that all I wanted was money from him and that if he gave it to me the i'd leave him like the rest. She continued to gaze at me from afar with a disguisted look.

" Darnit Moira!" Oliver screamed causing all of the guests to look at him with a freightning expression. He grabbed the white table cloth from the table closest to him and wrapped it around him as if he was a bride. He put on his best "Moira" expression before continuing.

" Oh I'm Moira Queen. I am the elegant mother of two and I've probably aborted 5 babies in my whole life time but I killed the doctor so he wouldn't tell anyone about then and you know what ?! I dont even know why in the world I WORE WHITE TO MY WEDDING WHEN GOD KNOWS I AM FAR PAST INNOCENT"!

I stared up at Oliver in shock. He not only called his mother by her first name but he literally mocked her and exposed one if her secrets in front of a whole crowd. I heard muffled whispers as the guests continued to look at their beyong angry hosts. Moira looked like she was ready to rip Olivers throat out. Her fists stood by her side , shaking like a wet puppy.

" Get . out." She breathed out causing Oliver to let out a heartless laugh. He shook his head and threw the table cloth in her direction. He began walking towards me bu he stopped to look at the guests who looked like a deer on headlights.

" I suggest you all leave before Moira over here shoots you for overhearing about her affair with Malcolm Merlin from her " Self conceeding spoiled brat of a son". He said the last part with a mock brittish accent. He clutched onto my hand and lead me out of the door as he let out a sigh.

I kissed him on the cheek as a "Thank you" for standing up for me. He gave me a cheeky smile and wrapped is arms around me. He looked at me and lingered for a while before setting his gaze lay upon the " Olicity' star that was shining brighter than ever.


End file.
